Interesting place to start introspecting. This post was not actually intended to be here. I wrote it as response to Ashish's post. I was too lazy to write another so here it is again. Ashish says he has been called a 'cynic' and a 'pessimist' by the two people who know him best. I have been at the other end of the spectrum most of my life. I do not remember ranting or ever play the blame game seriously as far back as I can remember.I might blame someone momentary but I think God built in me an automatic system to banish the blame almost immediately. Somewhere, I guess, I feel it is a sin. In fact I kinda use to loose my temper when someone around me would turn to whining and blaming.
I am a much more tolerant now to the pessimists, cynics and even the whiners of the world. I realise we need them all. They are the ones who look into the minutest details of everything important. They are the ones who organise major tournaments and events in the world.They insure governments function smoothly and trains run on schedule. In fact they are the ones who make those precise schedules in the first. They help make our dining experience a prized memory. Leave it to a reckless optimist and you are sure to have a nightmare to haunt you for the rest of your life. I wouldn't want a fiery flamboyant female to be my surgeon if I ever find myself on an operation table. I would actually run out of a plane if I learnt it was being piloted by an irrational optimistic bloke like me. We definitely need our cynics and pessimists to run the world. Of course they sometimes run it aground like they have done with meticulous precision with the beautifully planned sub prime lending. That of course, is another story.
But we also need the eternal optimists to make the world a beautiful, buoyant, wonderful rollercoaster experience we would like to talk about sipping tea on a wintry night in a camp in the hills into the wee hours of the night when we are old. We need our interesting storytellers and courageous adventurers who realise the dangers of their venture only after they have already jumped, head first, right into the middle of it. Otherwise who would write 'Old Man and the Sea' and who would have discovered America or India... and who would discover a new planet inhabited by people more intelligent and more advanced and more cultured than the earthlings. Without both optimists and the pessimists we would not have the bulls and the bears.
Yes I am a lot more accepting of the cynics and the pessimists of the world today than I was a couple of decades ago. As to being able to say 'no' I absolutely find it impossible to say so. Harpreet my wife, God bless her soul, used to say thank God you are not a woman or you'll always be pregnant.
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Dear Sir I was just going through write-up by Ashish and you. By chance, I had written a piece recently. I am quoting it for your reference. May be you will find it interesting and relevant to point you and Ashish are making:
"I have always believed that there are certain things that come naturally to you as a human being and are beyond your control. Perhaps it is not only our deeds alone that govern our success in any endeavour we undertake. The fact that we are there at the right time, right place and with right resources is having a major share in determining our success. Some call it a matter of chance; the game of probability; actions of God; destiny; you may give it any name. Further, there are of course certain things which are beyond your control like you cant have a choice as regards your parents, your time or place of birth, your basic education, education of your parents, your siblings, your physical traits, your family set-up, the kind of enviornment you are braught up in, the money your family possesses, blah blah blah....i can go on and on. Is it not that all these factors play a major role in shaping our success apart from obviously our actions?? So, can we say that only we are responsible for our success or failure?? I am at a loss to understand. Believe me or not given a situation everyone of us puts in our best effort in a particular endeavour based on our knowledge, resources, constraints and potential of success in a specific action. It is just like a decision situation where we choose the best out of the available alternatives in light of the constraints impinging upon us. This is only what we can do. Please correct me if I am wrong. As human beings, if we meet success in a particular venture we pat ourselves for the so called right decision. On the other hand, if we fail there is always a tendency to blame the factors beyond our control. This may be due to because we dont want to brand ourselves as a failure; we dont want to loose faith and trust in ourselves, in our abilities; we want to keep ourselves motivated all the time by telling to the inner self that not me but something else is to be blamed for my failure. Perhaps being negative or cynical about extraneous factors is a way to keep ourselves in high spirits. To my mind, there is nothing wrong in it; only thing we should be scared of is not being in a position to critically evaluate actions that led to failures by just being under the semblance of something beyond control causing the failure. Just try to figure out why someone else could grasp on to an opportunity and not you. Here, I would also like to articulate that priorities in life may vary from individual to individual. So, please see to it that in a given situation are you delighted based upon your priorities. Only because someone else is earning more money, or working in your dream industry or company, or is occupying the sought after saddle in an organisation should not put you off. What is required to be realised is that may be what someone else is earning is very obvious but what he is losing is veiled. Perhaps his loss is more than yours. I have always felt that the terms success and failure are only relative ones, and success is a matter of chance at times. So, just keep trying; it may come knocking any time.
Rememeber you may have lost in a game but you are not defeated. Never loose hope. To the best of my understanding, this is true for those who are still looking for job; are in jobs but looking for their dream industry or company; and also for those who are making a fight to sustain in their current jobs or their lives. That way it is true for each one of us."
Dear Sir... I was just going through write-up by Ahsish and you. Incidently, I had written a piece recently. I am quoting it for your reference. You may find it relevant :
"I have always believed that there are certain things that come naturally to you as a human being and are beyond your control. Perhaps it is not only our deeds alone that govern our success in any endeavour we undertake. The fact that we are there at the right time, right place and with right resources is having a major share in determining our success. Some call it a matter of chance; the game of probability; actions of God; destiny; you may give it any name. Further, there are of course certain things which are beyond your control like you cant have a choice as regards your parents, your time or place of birth, your basic education, education of your parents, your siblings, your physical traits, your family set-up, the kind of enviornment you are braught up in, the money your family possesses, blah blah blah....i can go on and on. Is it not that all these factors play a major role in shaping our success apart from obviously our actions?? So, can we say that only we are responsible for our success or failure?? I am at a loss to understand. Believe me or not given a situation everyone of us puts in our best effort in a particular endeavour based on our knowledge, resources, constraints and potential of success in a specific action. It is just like a decision situation where we choose the best out of the available alternatives in light of the constraints impinging upon us. This is only what we can do. Please correct me if I am wrong. As human beings, if we meet success in a particular venture we pat ourselves for the so called right decision. On the other hand, if we fail there is always a tendency to blame the factors beyond our control. This may be due to because we dont want to brand ourselves as a failure; we dont want to loose faith and trust in ourselves, in our abilities; we want to keep ourselves motivated all the time by telling to the inner self that not me but something else is to be blamed for my failure. Perhaps being negative or cynical about extraneous factors is a way to keep ourselves in high spirits. To my mind, there is nothing wrong in it; only thing we should be scared of is not being in a position to critically evaluate actions that led to failures by just being under the semblance of something beyond control causing the failure. Just try to figure out why someone else could grasp on to an opportunity and not you. Here, I would also like to articulate that priorities in life may vary from individual to individual. So, please see to it that in a given situation are you delighted based upon your priorities. Only because someone else is earning more money, or working in your dream industry or company, or is occupying the sought after saddle in an organisation should not put you off. What is required to be realised is that may be what someone else is earning is very obvious but what he is losing is veiled. Perhaps his loss is more than yours. I have always felt that the terms success and failure are only relative ones, and success is a matter of chance at times. So, just keep trying; it may come knocking any time.
Rememeber you may have lost in a game but you are not defeated. Never loose hope. To the best of my understanding, this is true for those who are still looking for job; are in jobs but looking for their dream industry or company; and also for those who are making a fight to sustain in their current jobs or their lives. That way it is true for each one of us."
Arunesh, I can't agree with you more. There are whole lot of circumstances and personality traits that go into success and failure which too are different things to different people. So the important thing is for each individual to think through his own priorities and set his own goals and define what success means to him. I believe every one is writing his own story and should be entitled to determine how he want to finish it. YOU are the ONLY judge of your own sucess and failure as long as you can remain ethical and honest. Though some social parameteres of sucess are important too, they are, in the final analyses, secondary.
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